This question is something that usually comes twice in a person's life. The first time I loved being asked because I knew I was coming here to Gardner Webb and I had my future all planned out. Here I am 5 years later not having gone down the path I was originally going to and I am being asked this question again. This time I am not so much a fan of it. I am trying to pray fervently about it but I honestly have no idea what I am going to do. I am waiting on God to give me some direction and maybe a gentle nudge in a certain direction.
I came to Gardner Webb with intentions on becoming a nurse, and after my childhood it seemed the only logical thing to do. I was going to change the world one sick person at a time. I was a nursing major for two years and after getting really sick and pretty far behind my second year I felt God telling me it was time to change my major. I became an American Sign Language major with a minor in interpreting. I had been signing for many years before I even came to college and had already gotten pretty involved with that community here on campus. This seemed like the next logical path to go down. I started down this path not knowing where it would lead but I always knew, even before coming to college, my heart was to work with the Deaf. I loved their language, culture, everything.
The summer of 2007 before I came to college I went on a youth trip called LIFE. It's a trip the Christian and Missionary Alliance (the denomination I grew up in) went on every 3 years in a different big city all over the US. During the 2004 trip, in Phoenix, Arizona I really felt God calling me to missions but I told Him no... bad life decision. I was really fortunate that I could go on this trip again and this time, after having learned my lesson the first time, I said yes. I still very much feel this call on my life but this time I don't know what the next step will be. I am trying to pray and see if God wants me to stay in the Boiling Springs area and be a part of the discipleship home or if I should go get some work experience interpreting or what I should do. No matter where I end up going on the missions field I want to work with the Deaf because they are one of the most unreached people groups all over the world.
If you can't tell, God is teaching me patience right now but more importantly he is teaching me to seek Him and His will for my life. In saying all of this please pray that where ever God decides to lead me I will follow and do so with a I do so with humility and submission because He knows what is best for me.
I am sorry it has been so long since I have updated but that is what is currently going on in my life. Other than that I am taking 18 hours this semester and part of that is my internship which I love because it is interpreting. I am getting ready and raising funds to go on a missions trip to Honduras with a group from GWU during Spring Break to work with the Deaf at New Life Deaf Ministry in Tegucigalpa (the capital).
Blessings to all,
Rebecca
Verse(s) of the Day: Philippians 4: 6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Constant Reminders
I am constantly reminded by my amazing creator of how wonderfully blessed I am with the small things. Don't get me wrong I have been blessed with plenty of big things too, I mean I woke up to another day, kind of a Big Thing! About a month and a half ago I found out some of my dearest friends were moving. He works in Raleigh and she has decided to stay home and take care of the kids, who are 1 and 4, so living close to Winston is quite a treck for him twice a day, and seriously what young dad wants to put off the inevitable come-home-run-and-hug-dad routine any longer than he has to? So, they put their house on the market.
Every summer they go to visit family in Chicago and ask me to house sit and watch their pets. This year, being no different from the rest, I went over to hang out with them one afternoon when school was out of the summer and she broke the news to me. As devestated as I was I kept my composure and reminded myself this is what is best for their family. Well, yesterday, I went to go get their house key and my list of instructions, which hasn't changed in the four years I have been house sitting, but it was a little longer this year because of the house being on the market. I thought I'll get home from work, sleep, then go over get the key and my list and head to the library to write my paper for class.
Yea right, I got over there a little after 4:00 and ended up staying until they left around 9:30 for the long drive up north. I played with their oldest daughter, we both love our time together, the younger daughter still isn't too sure of me at times so she likes to stay kinda close to mom. I love their little girls like they are my own and have sincerely been so blessed to be a part of seeing them from when the mom was pregnant to now as they are growing up to be quite the little princesses, I'm not biased. :)
This week has been especially hard with the death of Allison, who I wrote about in my last blog, and another precious woman of faith from the church I grew up in, not only for me but for many in my community. So I am taking the little things like getting to spend my afternoon being with a beautiful child, instead of writing a paper (don't worry I finished it) and getting to see her grow and learn more and more as a blessing, and a reminder that God is whispering to me praise me in the hard times and I will surely bless with the good times! I sure and being Held.
Blessings to all,
Rebecca
Verse(s) of the Day: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.
Every summer they go to visit family in Chicago and ask me to house sit and watch their pets. This year, being no different from the rest, I went over to hang out with them one afternoon when school was out of the summer and she broke the news to me. As devestated as I was I kept my composure and reminded myself this is what is best for their family. Well, yesterday, I went to go get their house key and my list of instructions, which hasn't changed in the four years I have been house sitting, but it was a little longer this year because of the house being on the market. I thought I'll get home from work, sleep, then go over get the key and my list and head to the library to write my paper for class.
Yea right, I got over there a little after 4:00 and ended up staying until they left around 9:30 for the long drive up north. I played with their oldest daughter, we both love our time together, the younger daughter still isn't too sure of me at times so she likes to stay kinda close to mom. I love their little girls like they are my own and have sincerely been so blessed to be a part of seeing them from when the mom was pregnant to now as they are growing up to be quite the little princesses, I'm not biased. :)
This week has been especially hard with the death of Allison, who I wrote about in my last blog, and another precious woman of faith from the church I grew up in, not only for me but for many in my community. So I am taking the little things like getting to spend my afternoon being with a beautiful child, instead of writing a paper (don't worry I finished it) and getting to see her grow and learn more and more as a blessing, and a reminder that God is whispering to me praise me in the hard times and I will surely bless with the good times! I sure and being Held.
Blessings to all,
Rebecca
Verse(s) of the Day: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Healing comes through Tears
I feel like all of my blogs have slight depressing tones, so be forewarned tonight that is not going to change.
I got a text from my mom today to call her at work, which is never a good thing. So when I woke up and called mom, she told me a 17 year old from our church died this morning. Allison has had quite the battle with lung cancer and after a double lung transplant on January 25. God just did not see it fit for her small body to be healed on earth, instead He took her home this morning at 1030. Allison had so much life left to live, is what so many people would say, but we are not the Maker of Time so she lived for every moment that God had set for her to be on this earth.
The death of someone who is so young, for many of us, is such a sad thing and for me it is no different. There are so many times when someone who has had cancer or been very ill for a long time passes away and the first question for me, honestly, is WHY? Why did this person have to die? Why, God, are you allowing this person's family to suffer? Why did you choose for me to live and not them?
Recently, I heard a sermon (listen to the sermon) on 'WHY'. The series was called 'Stuff We Don't Know'. The pastor spoke on the verse Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD." He talked about how the way we think is not even close to the way God does. For me, it is like the child's toy where you have the shape and the toy, where you have to match the shape with the toy. We are like the square and God is the circle no matter how many different ways we can try to put the square toy in the circle shape it won't fit, but we can try to study the shape and learn to know, as best we can, the ins and outs of the shape of the circle, just like we can learn more about God from His word.
One day we will understand, but it may not be here on earth. Imagine if God thought like we did, we would all always get what we wanted, when we wanted... too much chaos for me! I am so thankful, not always during the circumstance but in the end I am, that God doesn't think like I do.
So, as Laura Story (singer/songwriter) would say:
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?
Verse(s) of the Day: Isaiah 55: 8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I got a text from my mom today to call her at work, which is never a good thing. So when I woke up and called mom, she told me a 17 year old from our church died this morning. Allison has had quite the battle with lung cancer and after a double lung transplant on January 25. God just did not see it fit for her small body to be healed on earth, instead He took her home this morning at 1030. Allison had so much life left to live, is what so many people would say, but we are not the Maker of Time so she lived for every moment that God had set for her to be on this earth.
The death of someone who is so young, for many of us, is such a sad thing and for me it is no different. There are so many times when someone who has had cancer or been very ill for a long time passes away and the first question for me, honestly, is WHY? Why did this person have to die? Why, God, are you allowing this person's family to suffer? Why did you choose for me to live and not them?
Recently, I heard a sermon (listen to the sermon) on 'WHY'. The series was called 'Stuff We Don't Know'. The pastor spoke on the verse Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD." He talked about how the way we think is not even close to the way God does. For me, it is like the child's toy where you have the shape and the toy, where you have to match the shape with the toy. We are like the square and God is the circle no matter how many different ways we can try to put the square toy in the circle shape it won't fit, but we can try to study the shape and learn to know, as best we can, the ins and outs of the shape of the circle, just like we can learn more about God from His word.
One day we will understand, but it may not be here on earth. Imagine if God thought like we did, we would all always get what we wanted, when we wanted... too much chaos for me! I am so thankful, not always during the circumstance but in the end I am, that God doesn't think like I do.
So, as Laura Story (singer/songwriter) would say:
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?
Verse(s) of the Day: Isaiah 55: 8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Everyday is a struggle
Every single day I feel like I struggle with something. Some days it starts in the morning with little things like not wanting to get out of bed, because I couldn't seem to want to make myself go to bed the night before, and other days it is getting bad news about something, or just something not going the way that I wanted it to and yet sometimes I am just in a bad mood. It's kind of funny though if you think about it... all of those things begin with an "I statement", this is not a psychology moment. If I truly began my day the way I have been called to (Luke 9:23) this would not be a problem.
I was thinking about this earlier today about how much, the past several months or so I have seemed to face one struggle after another. Yet still, God has proven himself over and over and over again in my life. The mere fact that I can sit here and write this is a miracle. God has blessed me time and time again with his mercies and I still let the overwhelming feelings of these situations get to me.
I went with my parents and the children's pastor from church to another couple from the church's home because they were working on some details with a car. We ended up staying and talking for several hours. I, honestly, just wanted to go to get out of the house, but I am so glad I went. This couple was talking about how they met and how the Lord has really blessed them and then she said you know what, 37 years from tomorrow is when we met. I was amazed at how God has really blessed them because they have been so faithful through the good AND the bad. I want that. Not just because they are blessed but because they are so truly and genuinely happy.
The children's pastor was talking about getting ready with his wife and two small children to pick up and move to Niger, Africa to be missionaries with SIMAIR as one of their pilots. Then the conversation moved to my desire to be a missionary. This is not a secret that I have wanted to do this for a while, but it has been a long time since I have really been excited about being called to the mission field, a bit of a harsh reality for me. Something about the conversation really got me excited again. I am ready to focus on the ministry that God has laid out for me, wherever it may be on the mission field. So, needless to say I was very glad that I went and was able to really be surrounded by friends and love in such a warm Christian environment.
So as this week is coming to an end and I have to say I am ready to face the struggles this next week, and the week after, and so on head on because honestly if I didn't have the struggle the good times, when they come, wouldn't be so wonderful. I may not always feel this way in the moment, but in the end the hard times are what make the good times so great and I truly thank God for them.
Blessings,
Rebecca
Verse(s) of the Day: Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I was thinking about this earlier today about how much, the past several months or so I have seemed to face one struggle after another. Yet still, God has proven himself over and over and over again in my life. The mere fact that I can sit here and write this is a miracle. God has blessed me time and time again with his mercies and I still let the overwhelming feelings of these situations get to me.
I went with my parents and the children's pastor from church to another couple from the church's home because they were working on some details with a car. We ended up staying and talking for several hours. I, honestly, just wanted to go to get out of the house, but I am so glad I went. This couple was talking about how they met and how the Lord has really blessed them and then she said you know what, 37 years from tomorrow is when we met. I was amazed at how God has really blessed them because they have been so faithful through the good AND the bad. I want that. Not just because they are blessed but because they are so truly and genuinely happy.
The children's pastor was talking about getting ready with his wife and two small children to pick up and move to Niger, Africa to be missionaries with SIMAIR as one of their pilots. Then the conversation moved to my desire to be a missionary. This is not a secret that I have wanted to do this for a while, but it has been a long time since I have really been excited about being called to the mission field, a bit of a harsh reality for me. Something about the conversation really got me excited again. I am ready to focus on the ministry that God has laid out for me, wherever it may be on the mission field. So, needless to say I was very glad that I went and was able to really be surrounded by friends and love in such a warm Christian environment.
So as this week is coming to an end and I have to say I am ready to face the struggles this next week, and the week after, and so on head on because honestly if I didn't have the struggle the good times, when they come, wouldn't be so wonderful. I may not always feel this way in the moment, but in the end the hard times are what make the good times so great and I truly thank God for them.
Blessings,
Rebecca
Verse(s) of the Day: Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
and it all comes down to...
Wow! It has been a while since I posted anything but life has truly been CRAZY lately. I'm still taking my class on Tuesday and Thursday nights which takes up a good bit of time to read and get all of my notes typed up. I started a new job last week as a sitter, it's it just as it sounds, I sit for 7.5 hours (I get a 30 min break). I am working 3rd shift, which I really like because it gives me time to do things during the day, although lately I pretty much only sleep.
These past 2 nights at work have been extremely hard for me. The first night my patient started yelling for God to "let him in" and then he started to talk to his parents (I was the only other one in the room and this person is much older so I'm almost positive his parents are no longer on earth). Then, last night he was very restless for most of the night then once he was given lots of pain medication and other meds he finally was able to get some sleep but he was very out of it. This patient reminded me a lot of a mixture of my grandfather and his roommate from the nursing home. I have never been taken back so much by the thought of death. I have worked in/ been around the medical field since I was six years old (for those of you who don't know that means 15, almost 16 years) so I have been around my fair share of death and dying but never like this. I have never been in the room just me a person who is slowly dying. It was almost as if I could look death in the face because I could the process taking over on his body. It was a crazy experience how in a matter of 24 hours the process of dying can occur so quickly.
This whole thing made me think about how I am truly blessed to have been raised in a home where I don't have to be afraid to talk about death or think about being uncertain of what is going to happen to me after I am no longer on this earth. I am thankful for a God who gives me peace that is overwhelming in knowing I can forever live in His presence and with those who I have loved forever when it is all said and done. This may sound a little morbid and maybe it is to you but I am just very happy I have security in knowing where I am going to be for eternity. I think working in the medical field makes you face this reality more than any other field.
So, for me it all comes down to having the assurance of knowing I can spend forever being romanced by the King of the Ages. As musician Evan Earwicker says in his song "Dance with Me":
"I want to be romanced by the King of the Ages
I don't want to sing of a passion I've never known
I want to get lost in the beauty of Jesus
To dance through the night around Your throne"
and by having the faith that I do I can know I can spend eternity doing this and to me that is amazing.
A Blessed Child,
Rebecca
These past 2 nights at work have been extremely hard for me. The first night my patient started yelling for God to "let him in" and then he started to talk to his parents (I was the only other one in the room and this person is much older so I'm almost positive his parents are no longer on earth). Then, last night he was very restless for most of the night then once he was given lots of pain medication and other meds he finally was able to get some sleep but he was very out of it. This patient reminded me a lot of a mixture of my grandfather and his roommate from the nursing home. I have never been taken back so much by the thought of death. I have worked in/ been around the medical field since I was six years old (for those of you who don't know that means 15, almost 16 years) so I have been around my fair share of death and dying but never like this. I have never been in the room just me a person who is slowly dying. It was almost as if I could look death in the face because I could the process taking over on his body. It was a crazy experience how in a matter of 24 hours the process of dying can occur so quickly.
This whole thing made me think about how I am truly blessed to have been raised in a home where I don't have to be afraid to talk about death or think about being uncertain of what is going to happen to me after I am no longer on this earth. I am thankful for a God who gives me peace that is overwhelming in knowing I can forever live in His presence and with those who I have loved forever when it is all said and done. This may sound a little morbid and maybe it is to you but I am just very happy I have security in knowing where I am going to be for eternity. I think working in the medical field makes you face this reality more than any other field.
So, for me it all comes down to having the assurance of knowing I can spend forever being romanced by the King of the Ages. As musician Evan Earwicker says in his song "Dance with Me":
"I want to be romanced by the King of the Ages
I don't want to sing of a passion I've never known
I want to get lost in the beauty of Jesus
To dance through the night around Your throne"
and by having the faith that I do I can know I can spend eternity doing this and to me that is amazing.
A Blessed Child,
Rebecca
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Perspective
Today was such a crazy, hectic day for me. I moved out of my house that I live in during the school year, packed my car (with the help of my wonderful housemates' fiancee), drove home, unpacked my car (this time by myself), went to class (summer school started tonight, every Tues and Thurs night from 6-810), met mom and dad at the gas station, went with dad to pick up his "new to him" truck, then went on a date with my dad!
I was very unsure of how tonight was going to go but once we got to the restaurant and sat down we made a little small talk about school and work and, then he brought it up. The elephant in the room, so to speak, my aunt. We started talking about who knows what is going on and how much my dad has not only had to step up as her brother but as someone who has fought this battle before. I have always viewed my dad as a "go-getter" but the discussion tonight put him in a new light for me. My dad and I have always had some tension with each other, mainly because we are both very stubborn and similar in a lot of ways so we very easily butt-heads, but no matter what happens in my life I know he is there for me and I can't imagine anyone else being my dad and fighting for me the way he has and still does.
We talked about a lot of things but one of the things we discussed in detail is how this entire ordeal has put things into perspective for him. We have to face everyday in a new light and every person the same. We have to be the salt and light in the earth and for every circumstance God allows us to encounter we have to face it knowing that only He knows the outcome of it. If we allow ourselves to become so engulfed in the negative of a situation we forget that God has established this very moment long before we were even born and that nothing takes him by surprise so we should just trust him and his ways. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Even though we may not like the outcome of situations, God is still God and we are still His people.
Ezekiel 37: 1-14 is a passage my dad sent me after mom told me about my aunt and tonight he told me he referred to many times when I was going through treatment. It is great that as Christians we have such power to be able to speak such words and that we have such an amazingly powerful and strong God.
I Won't Let Go- Rascal Flatts This song came on twice tonight; once after dinner with dad in my car when I was alone and then again in McDonald's where dad and I sat and drank coffee together. I have always known my dad loves me, he tells me all the time, but I really feel like situation with my aunt, my dad's sister, is going to bring us together even closer. We share a new bond. I would never wish this on anyone but I am glad that I have my dad to lean on during these times to be there for me and to be there for him as we head down this road of uncertainty.
Sorry this is so all over the place but after the great night I had with my dad I felt like I needed to blog about it. So much more happened tonight but those were the highlights. So, remember life is what you make it. God has placed you in the moment you are in right now so you will lean on him if it's not going so well and so you can thank him if life is great! It's all a matter of perspective.
Blessings to all,
Rebecca
Verse of the Day- Matthew 5: 13-16: “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
I was very unsure of how tonight was going to go but once we got to the restaurant and sat down we made a little small talk about school and work and, then he brought it up. The elephant in the room, so to speak, my aunt. We started talking about who knows what is going on and how much my dad has not only had to step up as her brother but as someone who has fought this battle before. I have always viewed my dad as a "go-getter" but the discussion tonight put him in a new light for me. My dad and I have always had some tension with each other, mainly because we are both very stubborn and similar in a lot of ways so we very easily butt-heads, but no matter what happens in my life I know he is there for me and I can't imagine anyone else being my dad and fighting for me the way he has and still does.
We talked about a lot of things but one of the things we discussed in detail is how this entire ordeal has put things into perspective for him. We have to face everyday in a new light and every person the same. We have to be the salt and light in the earth and for every circumstance God allows us to encounter we have to face it knowing that only He knows the outcome of it. If we allow ourselves to become so engulfed in the negative of a situation we forget that God has established this very moment long before we were even born and that nothing takes him by surprise so we should just trust him and his ways. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Even though we may not like the outcome of situations, God is still God and we are still His people.
Ezekiel 37: 1-14 is a passage my dad sent me after mom told me about my aunt and tonight he told me he referred to many times when I was going through treatment. It is great that as Christians we have such power to be able to speak such words and that we have such an amazingly powerful and strong God.
I Won't Let Go- Rascal Flatts This song came on twice tonight; once after dinner with dad in my car when I was alone and then again in McDonald's where dad and I sat and drank coffee together. I have always known my dad loves me, he tells me all the time, but I really feel like situation with my aunt, my dad's sister, is going to bring us together even closer. We share a new bond. I would never wish this on anyone but I am glad that I have my dad to lean on during these times to be there for me and to be there for him as we head down this road of uncertainty.
Sorry this is so all over the place but after the great night I had with my dad I felt like I needed to blog about it. So much more happened tonight but those were the highlights. So, remember life is what you make it. God has placed you in the moment you are in right now so you will lean on him if it's not going so well and so you can thank him if life is great! It's all a matter of perspective.
Blessings to all,
Rebecca
Verse of the Day- Matthew 5: 13-16: “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Focus
Today's blog is a little bit like yesterday's in its topic but I think it's probably because it's what God has been dealing with me quite heavily in my life most recently. I started this semester out on a very positive note. I wanted everything to be perfect. I was in a relationship that I thought was where God wanted me to be. I was ready to begin a new semester with my professors and after the semester I had previously had I knew it was destined to be a great one. As the semester began, the first day of classes was cancelled due to snow... We live in NC, we close for any snow! I thought it would be a good thing and it turned out great because I got to spend more time with my boy, just us being a couple.
Things were going really well we were spending lots of time together pretty much daily. But, when it all came down to it we were spending the time together but we were running out of things to say to each other. We both began to lose focus in the relationship. Don't get me wrong I didn't say we were losing focus on the relationship we were losing it in the relationship. We had lost focus on the most important thing in any Christian relationship and
that is your relationship with Christ. If Christ isn't number one in your relationship (and your life) then you have lost all perspective on what is important. So the relationship ended on good terms but we, even months later, only speak when we have to, which right now is probably for the best. I write all of this to say when Christ becomes no longer the number one focus in your life sometimes he will take away things until He feels you are ready to have them again once He is your focus. Things change in your life and many times it is because God wants to us to help us remember what is important in our lives and what is not so important (Matthew 6: 19-21). What is God taking your focus off of to focus on him more? What is God allowing you to focus on more and in turn are you still giving God the same glory and praise he had before?
Be Blessed,
Rebecca
Verse of the Day: Psalm 139: 13-14 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
Things were going really well we were spending lots of time together pretty much daily. But, when it all came down to it we were spending the time together but we were running out of things to say to each other. We both began to lose focus in the relationship. Don't get me wrong I didn't say we were losing focus on the relationship we were losing it in the relationship. We had lost focus on the most important thing in any Christian relationship and
that is your relationship with Christ. If Christ isn't number one in your relationship (and your life) then you have lost all perspective on what is important. So the relationship ended on good terms but we, even months later, only speak when we have to, which right now is probably for the best. I write all of this to say when Christ becomes no longer the number one focus in your life sometimes he will take away things until He feels you are ready to have them again once He is your focus. Things change in your life and many times it is because God wants to us to help us remember what is important in our lives and what is not so important (Matthew 6: 19-21). What is God taking your focus off of to focus on him more? What is God allowing you to focus on more and in turn are you still giving God the same glory and praise he had before?
Be Blessed,
Rebecca
Verse of the Day: Psalm 139: 13-14 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Change
I have a confession... I do not like change! I don't know many people that do but for me change is something that has been the one big thing that is so consistent in my life that when stability comes I really enjoy embracing it and reveling in it. That is where I fail though. Reveling in something like consistency is where I tend to lose focus on the important things in life, like my relationship with my wonderful Savior. It is in these times where I just start, as Matthew West would say, "going through the motions" (Motions by Matthew West). I get so consumed in my routine and caught up in the fact that things will stay the way they are that I forget to ask God to help me be more mindful of what is going on around me and trusting him to help me through the big and small moments in my life. None of this is to say that when you have a routine in your life that you can't be content and happy in it. The Bible says to be content with what you have (Hebrews 13:5) but in this don't just go through the motions of life. I have learned so much over my lifetime but most importantly that when change comes I can trust in the one thing...or should I say person, that is always going to be consistent in my life; Jesus Christ. He has promised to never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5, Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5)
Verse of the Day: Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Verse of the Day: Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Friday, May 13, 2011
Life and it's uncertainties
I have never been much of a writer, honestly I can say I hate writing. Give me a topic or prompt and I can probably bs my way through it but I just don't get satisfaction from writing, especially when it comes to school. So, for me to have a blog is something I honestly thought I would never do. But none the less here I am because obviously "the norm" hasn't been working too well for me lately so I've decided to change things up in my life and do things differently now.
The past 21.5 years of my life have been quite a roller coaster, I know most people can say that but I can truly say life has surely been full of ups and downs at least since Dec 21, 1995. I had a completely normal childhood up until that point which was wonderful but on that day my world and everything I considered normal changed forever! I was diagnosed with the big "C" word, CANCER! Leukemia would be a word my family and I engulfed our lives around. I don't remember much of the treatments other than being sick all the time and constantly being in the oncology clinic or in the hospital from that point on for the next several years. I relapsed in 1997 and that October I had a bone marrow transplant, courtesy of my wonderfully, amazing younger brother Michael (we fought growing up like normal siblings but let me just tell you I owe him my life and for that I am eternally grateful). Even after my transplant life was full of doctors visits and medical stuff.
A little over fifteen years after my initial diagnosis cancer still seems to affect my life today. I have long term health problems that affect my daily life. But, more than that I have tried to be there for families of children who are going through what my family and I went through and let them know that there is hope and the possibility of a great future.
I always thought my life's work in the cancer world would be, from now on, on the outside looking in. That changed this week. Finals are over and I have finished my fourth year of college (not done yet, one more year...long story) my mom texts me and says call me when you get a chance before 1 (meaning she is on her lunch break). I call her and she informs me my aunt, my dads 2nd sister (Dad's the eldest of six children and this sibling in number 4), has stage 4 breast cancer. They have known for a little while but haven't wanted to tell me because they knew I would worry and with finals coming up I didn't need the added stress and didn't want to wait til I get home next week to tell me in person because I may see something on Facebook about it. Mom broke the news to me and the only thing I could get out of my mouth was NO! followed by streams of sobs. Lucky for me my best friend walked into my house and just held me. She will be starting chemo this week. The reality that cancer has hit someone else in my family again hits harder than had it been to me again. I have tried so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that she could very easily make it through this whole thing and come out on the other side completely healed but at the same time I, along with the rest of my family, has the face the even harder truth that she may not make it through and yes she will come out on the other side healed, just not here on earth.
I know with all my heart more now than ever that I serve Jehovah Rophi (God who Heals). I have faced many of the storms of life and have come out on the other side with the support and love of my Heavenly Father. It is my hope and prayer that the rest of my family understands that God always heals people. Healing is not always an earthly physical thing. Healing comes to us in many forms. When God chooses not to allow someone's earthly body to be restored from the the debilitating mess of something like cancer he is just saying healing is not to be something that happens here on the earth and I am still God. But, when those of us that have a personal relationship with him enter eternity in Heaven we experience a new kind of healing that no one else can experience. I have faith that my aunt no matter where the Lord chooses to heal her will take her experiences and share them and be an encouragement to others or leave an amazing legacy behind in her family and in those that know her.
So, please pray for my aunt and the rest of the family as we all experience this journey with her. Pray for her husband and 4 children (3 in college and 1 in high school) as this is something completely new for all of them. Pray for me as I now have a new connection with my aunt and that I can draw from my experiences and be an encouragement for this wonderful woman who has always been there for me and I won't let my emotions hold me back from sharing.
Psalm 68:19
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Selah
Blessings,
Rebecca
The past 21.5 years of my life have been quite a roller coaster, I know most people can say that but I can truly say life has surely been full of ups and downs at least since Dec 21, 1995. I had a completely normal childhood up until that point which was wonderful but on that day my world and everything I considered normal changed forever! I was diagnosed with the big "C" word, CANCER! Leukemia would be a word my family and I engulfed our lives around. I don't remember much of the treatments other than being sick all the time and constantly being in the oncology clinic or in the hospital from that point on for the next several years. I relapsed in 1997 and that October I had a bone marrow transplant, courtesy of my wonderfully, amazing younger brother Michael (we fought growing up like normal siblings but let me just tell you I owe him my life and for that I am eternally grateful). Even after my transplant life was full of doctors visits and medical stuff.
A little over fifteen years after my initial diagnosis cancer still seems to affect my life today. I have long term health problems that affect my daily life. But, more than that I have tried to be there for families of children who are going through what my family and I went through and let them know that there is hope and the possibility of a great future.
I always thought my life's work in the cancer world would be, from now on, on the outside looking in. That changed this week. Finals are over and I have finished my fourth year of college (not done yet, one more year...long story) my mom texts me and says call me when you get a chance before 1 (meaning she is on her lunch break). I call her and she informs me my aunt, my dads 2nd sister (Dad's the eldest of six children and this sibling in number 4), has stage 4 breast cancer. They have known for a little while but haven't wanted to tell me because they knew I would worry and with finals coming up I didn't need the added stress and didn't want to wait til I get home next week to tell me in person because I may see something on Facebook about it. Mom broke the news to me and the only thing I could get out of my mouth was NO! followed by streams of sobs. Lucky for me my best friend walked into my house and just held me. She will be starting chemo this week. The reality that cancer has hit someone else in my family again hits harder than had it been to me again. I have tried so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that she could very easily make it through this whole thing and come out on the other side completely healed but at the same time I, along with the rest of my family, has the face the even harder truth that she may not make it through and yes she will come out on the other side healed, just not here on earth.
I know with all my heart more now than ever that I serve Jehovah Rophi (God who Heals). I have faced many of the storms of life and have come out on the other side with the support and love of my Heavenly Father. It is my hope and prayer that the rest of my family understands that God always heals people. Healing is not always an earthly physical thing. Healing comes to us in many forms. When God chooses not to allow someone's earthly body to be restored from the the debilitating mess of something like cancer he is just saying healing is not to be something that happens here on the earth and I am still God. But, when those of us that have a personal relationship with him enter eternity in Heaven we experience a new kind of healing that no one else can experience. I have faith that my aunt no matter where the Lord chooses to heal her will take her experiences and share them and be an encouragement to others or leave an amazing legacy behind in her family and in those that know her.
So, please pray for my aunt and the rest of the family as we all experience this journey with her. Pray for her husband and 4 children (3 in college and 1 in high school) as this is something completely new for all of them. Pray for me as I now have a new connection with my aunt and that I can draw from my experiences and be an encouragement for this wonderful woman who has always been there for me and I won't let my emotions hold me back from sharing.
Psalm 68:19
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Selah
Blessings,
Rebecca
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