It has been a LONG time since I have posted and a LOT has happened. I am still married to an amazing man and have an amazing Abba God and that is about the only stable since my last post. We have since moved to South Carolina. I have definitely learned the healthcare system is the same everywhere, good healthCARE providers are hard to come by. Probably the most significant change has been the loss of my hearing.
I recently reconnected with a friend from college who also knows the dealings of having a chronic illness and we have been able to share with each other and lift each other up before God and just pray, generally and specifically. While messaging with this friend we were going over the "perils" of being deaf in a hearing world.
Before, I go on, this may be a post I do later but there have been many contributing factors to my hearing loss but thus the situation is in my "good" ear I am severe/profoundly deaf. Thus even with an extremely powerful hearing aid I get very little benefit. I have learned to much prefer the silence and let my hands do the talking... again the rest for another post, maybe.
Since losing my hearing I have had to learn the importance of choosing my battles. Which ones to fight because the law requires services to be provided and which to just press on and know the system is just flawed. In all of this, the day to day has been quite interesting. I have story, upon story, upon story of how hearing people just do not get it. (**Disclaimer: Let me say I use the term 'hearing' in a cultural supremacy term who view those of us with hearing loss or other different abilities as inferior, and sometimes incapable. Sometimes, I use it as a term of ignorance and sometimes plain lack of knowledge of how to deal with hearing loss). This is also where I got the title for this blog because going from being the interpreter (terp) to being on the consumer side has come with his share of frustrations, challenges, and just down right funny moments.
This friend has encouraged me to write a book, and though I know I could, many of my stories are universal to other d/Deaf/Hard-of-Hearing individuals so I've decided for now to blog them. As we were messaging back and forth last night the doorbell went off around 9pm. We weren't expecting anyone and normally I wouldn't answer the door but I decided to see what was going on. Thus, a small glance into world.
I opened the door and this woman was standing there and just stared at me. I got my phone out and typed "I'm deaf". She holds up a finger and goes digging through her purse, she pulls out a phone and shows me a picture of a teenage looking girl. I just shrug, because I don't know what the correlation is between this woman, the girl, and us/our house. The woman is just talking away. I tell her our address is similar to one a couple blocks over (we live on X Avenue and X Street address is often confused with us). This woman is STILL talking then finally turns and walks away. I'm still perplexed as to the woman's reasoning for showing up at my house and who the girl is/was. She has left so, I slowly close, lock, and deadbolt the door. I am hoping the girl is her daughter and she was just looking for her and got the wrong house but who knows. *SHRUG*
These kinds of situations happen to me all the time. I tell someone I can't hear or I'm deaf and I usually get one of two responses; (most common) "can you read lips?"the answer to that will always be no, for various reasons, again another post for another day, or they just keep talking like what I've just informed them of did not compute.
Another response I get, which is common for most people with hearing loss, is "Oh, I'm sorry!" This past Saturday I had a guy come up to me and I hadn't the slightest idea what he was saying so I, as usual, got out my phone and told him I was not being rude but I am Deaf so I just did not know what he was saying. He said something, not facing me so I couldn't even attempt to read his lips but the face gave away it was something of an "I'm sorry" and then went to hug me... PASS! I'm all about a good hug but not from a complete stranger. I was joking with a friend after telling her the situation that it came across almost like "let's hug your hearing back".
Many more stories to come as time permits but I thought these two were good starters as a glimpse into my daily dealings with those who have the ability to hear.
Best,
Rebecca
