I have never been much of a writer, honestly I can say I hate writing. Give me a topic or prompt and I can probably bs my way through it but I just don't get satisfaction from writing, especially when it comes to school. So, for me to have a blog is something I honestly thought I would never do. But none the less here I am because obviously "the norm" hasn't been working too well for me lately so I've decided to change things up in my life and do things differently now.
The past 21.5 years of my life have been quite a roller coaster, I know most people can say that but I can truly say life has surely been full of ups and downs at least since Dec 21, 1995. I had a completely normal childhood up until that point which was wonderful but on that day my world and everything I considered normal changed forever! I was diagnosed with the big "C" word, CANCER! Leukemia would be a word my family and I engulfed our lives around. I don't remember much of the treatments other than being sick all the time and constantly being in the oncology clinic or in the hospital from that point on for the next several years. I relapsed in 1997 and that October I had a bone marrow transplant, courtesy of my wonderfully, amazing younger brother Michael (we fought growing up like normal siblings but let me just tell you I owe him my life and for that I am eternally grateful). Even after my transplant life was full of doctors visits and medical stuff.
A little over fifteen years after my initial diagnosis cancer still seems to affect my life today. I have long term health problems that affect my daily life. But, more than that I have tried to be there for families of children who are going through what my family and I went through and let them know that there is hope and the possibility of a great future.
I always thought my life's work in the cancer world would be, from now on, on the outside looking in. That changed this week. Finals are over and I have finished my fourth year of college (not done yet, one more year...long story) my mom texts me and says call me when you get a chance before 1 (meaning she is on her lunch break). I call her and she informs me my aunt, my dads 2nd sister (Dad's the eldest of six children and this sibling in number 4), has stage 4 breast cancer. They have known for a little while but haven't wanted to tell me because they knew I would worry and with finals coming up I didn't need the added stress and didn't want to wait til I get home next week to tell me in person because I may see something on Facebook about it. Mom broke the news to me and the only thing I could get out of my mouth was NO! followed by streams of sobs. Lucky for me my best friend walked into my house and just held me. She will be starting chemo this week. The reality that cancer has hit someone else in my family again hits harder than had it been to me again. I have tried so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that she could very easily make it through this whole thing and come out on the other side completely healed but at the same time I, along with the rest of my family, has the face the even harder truth that she may not make it through and yes she will come out on the other side healed, just not here on earth.
I know with all my heart more now than ever that I serve Jehovah Rophi (God who Heals). I have faced many of the storms of life and have come out on the other side with the support and love of my Heavenly Father. It is my hope and prayer that the rest of my family understands that God always heals people. Healing is not always an earthly physical thing. Healing comes to us in many forms. When God chooses not to allow someone's earthly body to be restored from the the debilitating mess of something like cancer he is just saying healing is not to be something that happens here on the earth and I am still God. But, when those of us that have a personal relationship with him enter eternity in Heaven we experience a new kind of healing that no one else can experience. I have faith that my aunt no matter where the Lord chooses to heal her will take her experiences and share them and be an encouragement to others or leave an amazing legacy behind in her family and in those that know her.
So, please pray for my aunt and the rest of the family as we all experience this journey with her. Pray for her husband and 4 children (3 in college and 1 in high school) as this is something completely new for all of them. Pray for me as I now have a new connection with my aunt and that I can draw from my experiences and be an encouragement for this wonderful woman who has always been there for me and I won't let my emotions hold me back from sharing.
Psalm 68:19
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Selah
Blessings,
Rebecca
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